We Didn’t Come Here Just to Suffer

“Why would you want to birth a child into this world of suffering?” someone recently asked me. I blinked a couple of times, processing their question and where it came from. This was their impression of the world. This is the world they’ve lived in.

“There’s more to this life than suffering,” I told them. “None of us get out of here without at least a little trauma, but there’s joy and other things too.”

This is my perception of the world. Neither of us are right or wrong — we just have our own experiences and perspectives leading what we say.

While the person was mostly referring to the external suffering we endure in this world, I had been circling around in my own internal suffering for some time. My energy had become stifled from what I told myself was “overworked” exhaustion. I was frustrated with my life choices and trying to figure out my “next move,” all while complaining about my overpacked schedule and lack of time for personal things.

Honestly, the last few years since leaving my massage therapy career have been a huge swirl of What am I doing here? In pure survival mode — trying to make ends meet and “figure myself out” — I had been packing my schedule with jobs and gigs, burning my wick at both ends. I started to wonder if I’d ever feel joy in the mornings again. I questioned, Will it always be like this? No joy or excitement unless I create it? Will I ever feel fulfilled, or will I constantly be chasing it?

Through some potent conversations with my peers and family, I was reminded:

I surely will be constantly chasing it — if that’s what I keep choosing to do.

“YOU’RE TELLING ME THE SOLUTION TO YOUR ISSUES RIGHT NOW, KALA. CAN YOU HEAR IT?” my dear friend Amy said to me.

I was stifling myself each time I chose to be too tired for my writing, hobbies, and friends. Each time I said I “didn’t have the time or energy,” a little part of my joy dimmed.

My brother’s advice? “Keep your bills low, and your hobbies up.” Wish I’d heard that one before I got my new car — thanks, David. But he also told me to forget everything I was told would make me happy, and to focus instead on what actually makes me feel happy. And honestly, driving that car does make me feel happy. lol.

These two helped bring clarity to what I had been avoiding. The very things I kept putting off because I was “too this or that” were the very things that could relieve me from the suffering I was enduring.

So, here I go — little by little — accomplishing the small things that make the biggest impact in my life.

What’s something that creates joy in your life?

Has it been a while since you’ve felt like you could return to it too?

What’s one small way you could add some joy to your day, today?

Feel free to share in the chat box below.

Thanks for reading!

Love,

Kala